Current mood: calm


the sun is shining

tendering soft skins of young dog walkers

massaging wrinkles of aging lovers

walking across the bridge

lifting myself on the top of my toes with short nails

painted blue inside wool socks

watching water breaking ice

invisibly

the striking force of softness

shattering pieces by pieces that strong icy glass

wandering what's hiding under melting ice

maybe dead green crococile defrosting

maybe jelly balls falling out from tiny grey toad's belly

broken open into tadpoles into the world of tiny grey toads

maybe tiny fishes bleeding their silver tails inside big ones' estomagos

or swept into fisherman's net at the end of their journey

where Ontanabee river run into some blue sea

reincarnated into sushi

maybe a world's sleeping

maybe a world's cracking under the ice so cristalline

I am

in my time on my toes

one foot gave in to the law of gravity

one foot rabelled to flow with serenity

busy watching the beauty

busy wandering the unknown

too busy to hear the cracking, the withering, the blooming, the tide raising, the river flowing inside

me.

delicious red apple of that suckass cafe
Current mood: calm


I don't like the word "hurt" cuz it is so abstract yet so simplified. I can't neither touch nor comprehend sometimes what that word means.It can't neither touch nor express all that messy surreal orginal labrynth of human feelings either. I ate a delicious red apple today. Sweet and crispy to the point of perfection in my simple standard. Everything's turning. I watched water breaking ice. Sky was grey. I punched a hole and threw a piece of circle from my lifescape. It hurt. Metaphorically so, but just like that insane movie eternal sunshine in the spotless mind, i will be missing this piece and it will chase my memory on and off. Season always changes. So do lovers and friends. So do I. Sad and beautiful simultaneously, my life isn't the red apple. But i guess that's ok.

Delicious like red apple we were. I bite into the sweetness. Ate slowly. No matter how you tried to keep munching, i wanted to finish eating the damn apple. It's not that apple isn't perfect. It is just I' m not red apple, not even close to perfection. I keep escaping to... where... I don't even know. But I do it anyway.

Apple's gone, only seed left. I threw the seed. You tasted bitterness. Some sweetness still lingered on my tongue.But soon would be gone. Seed would grow into something beautiful even without me seeing it.

I am writing an exciting essay with wonderful company of mocha and bagels on a not so exciting reality of women and war.

Poetry is good though. Like this one..

The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon...
I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon ,"Yes."

It doesn't interest me
to know where you live or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will standin the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep
in the empty moments.

So I've been pretty busy the past few weeks meeting with Fredericton area groups and talking about them working with TIG and I've also been creating some profiles for people.
There is a longer update on the CLC page...and hopefully I will be adding some exciting events to the NB page soon!

Today, I would like to involve you in an important campaign.

Recently I became a member of the European Advisory Group of the liberal organization Catholics for a Free Choice.

Their recent campaign is Condoms for Life and part of this campaign is a letter to Pope Benedict XVI, asking him to lift the ban on condom use for HIV prevention.
I strongly encourage you to read the letter and sign it if you agree, even if you are not Catholic and pass this information to others.

The campaign is especially important for people in Catholic countries like mine, where many people still listen to and follow the Church preachings.

Here's the link

Thank you for your interest.

is mail.takingitglobal.org still working?

i dont really have a whole lot to say. i'm packing and getting ready to go to toronto tomorrow to officially join the TIG team. i'm pretty excited about it, but it's keeping me pre-occupied!

It is expected that more then 51000 people are at the conference. Youth participation is so uplifting and very impacting. Youth have shown that they know longer want to be in the back of the decision making. Many youth have taken action by making adult delegates sign commitments to where they are responsible to these actions that they have made. A comment was made to bring YLWHA to the table so that we can be involved in policies and decisions that involve YLWHA.

So its Keys... and she's not Canadian... the praises remain... lets post her speech!

"While the statistics are stagering, we cannot allow their magnitude to immobilize us" Alicia Keyes, Aug 13, AIDS Opening

While I was expecting a musical performance last night, the show Alicia Keyes put on was better then I could have imagined. Her top 25 things to do list was powerful, moving, and intelligent. Be courageous, be Brazillian, be a rebal... be human. The list and rational went on and I was proud to hear a young, female, Canadian voice speak to the potential for both change and impact, rooted in a bit of "will."

I'd really love if someone who taped the show could post her Top 25. This needs to be read again and again by more youth to more youth.

Having just wrapped up the first day of the conference. it has been an exhausting and very rewarding day. Much of the day ahad to do with youth sessions, tghe opening orietnation of the youth pavilion. I am so happy that the e-consultation messages and 244 youth took part in are being recognizerd and really pushed for. I was bombarded by youth at the youthtaskforce table that were so inbterested in all the materials and the shirt that by the end of the day we became limited in the shirt sizes that were left. The posters were a success and has really gotten the point across. I really was happy and very joyable by the amount of adult body delegates that were heading to the commitment desk with a youth delegate it was amazed.
This morning I attended my first sessions, called " From Rhetoric to Action", and i may say that it was interested and somewhat non-identifiable as how youth are going to be involved in IAC 2008, being held in Mexico. Youth were represented but the most important issues were not addressed. I was very shocked that the only political leader that committed to bringing youth issues was mexico's Helath Minister with the commitment of increasing youth participation in the IAC 2008. Peter Piot, well that was a dispointment.

Press conference organized by my group PONTON to promote the summer hotline for teenagers. From the left: me, group coordinator Ola, sexologist expert Alicja, and PONTON volunteer Marta

My group has launched a summer project called "Summer Emergency Hotline." Every day until the end of September a volunteer has a four-hour duty during which she or he answers phone calls, or calls people back to talk to them if they don't have enough money to make a longer call on a cell phone, or answers questions posted through text messages.

Our objective is to provide information about sexuality, contraception and prevention. We though that a phone hotline would be a good addition to our usual method of answering quaestion through emails, especially in the summer, when young people are spending time away from home, and Internet access.

To promote the action, we organized a press conference. The announcements about the hotline have been posted on the websites of other NGOs, and on the radio. Some journalists from dailies and TV became more interested in the project and took some additional photos, and arranged interviews with our group coordinator. We also had stickers with the telephone number printed and placed in buses and clubs.

So far the hotline has been very popular.

I love to walk from my home in the center of Warsaw to a small street hidden behind large modern buildings. The street's name is Prozna and it is one of the few in Warsaw which were saved from German bombings during the war. The climate is incredible there, the houses are really destroyed but you feel the weight of their history. The house where I live was built on the ruins of the Jewish ghetto and, since I come from Lublin,a town in eastern Poland with rich Jewish tradition and location of a Nazi concentration camp during WWII, I feel deeply moved by this fact.

Here is the link to Jewish places in Warsaw